Oh Good We’re Going To War…Again.

Well there’s nothing like ending the day with a missile strike.

I was already very annoyed yesterday, so this was just the icing on the shit cake that was Thursday.

Well I shouldn’t be so overly dramatic, yesterday wasn’t too bad for me, in fact it was all in all a good day.  But, the news outlets really pissed me off.

And it isn’t necessarily the actual missile strike that annoyed me.  While I think it was a stupid thing to do and at this point a bit of a futile move by a man unqualified to be President of the United States.  I can’t get past the timing, because it seems to me this was done (more than likely) to distract everyone away from the mounting evidence of all the Russian connections to Cheeto Jesus’s campaign.

But it’s also an idiotic move.  Because to do just one airstrike doesn’t do anything.  All it does is set us up to either look ineffectual, or set us up for war.

If we strike once and do not strike again, then the enemy knows we were just grand standing.

However, if the past is prologue we’re heading into another war.  Republicans and most corporate democrats love war.  It’s good for business and good for the economy and really helps fill the 24 hour cluster fuck news cycle we’ve all become accustomed to.

Now, while I make no bones about the fact that I think President Trump is nothing more than a spoiled child with the attention span of a spider monkey on a cocaine bender, do not make the mistake of thinking about how different things would be if Hillary Clinton was President.

If Hillary Clinton was in fact the President, we’d have been in Syria by now.  Hillary Clinton is not a dove, she’s a total war hawk.  I believe we’d have been at war with Russian within a year of her administration and I do believe that if we were not at total war with Syria this would not have been the first missile strike by her administration on Assad’s regime.

The big difference here in my mind is that if Clinton was President I’d have a strong feeling of knowing that while she was going to do it, she is in fact the one who’d be making the final decisions in these matters.

With President Trump I really don’t know who made this decision, what was whispered in his ear and what the real reason for the strike is.

Because President Trump is not a smart man.  President Trump is not an intellectual.  I will say he certainly understands social media and really has some amazing gut instincts on how and when to use the bully pulpit and twitter to his advantage, but that doesn’t make him smart.  It makes him savvy.  Those are not the same thing.

It makes him a 21 year old bikini model with a few million followers on instagram and twitter.

At best it makes him Dan Blizerian.  And while Dan and others of his ilk can be very entertaining and savvy, that does not make Dan, the bikini model or Donald Trump qualified to run and protect The United States of America.

So whoever told President Trump this was a good idea (President Bannon?) has more than just a single missile strike in mind.

Ivanka must have been out of the room when this decision was made, cuz she never would have let this crap happen.  However, she could be behind the latest rumors this morning about Bannon and Preibus being on their way out of the administration, which would actually make me feel better.

Seriously, I don’t care if those two morons are replaced with Gary Busey and Omarosa, it’s better for everyone if they’re out.

In fact bringing in Busey and Omarosa would probably make me feel more safe on a daily basis than I do now.

And that is really sad.

So mark my words folks, we’re going to war, at the very least we’re gonna start bombing the shit out of Syria; but boots will probably be on the ground in a couple weeks as a “relief effort” or “Peacekeeping Force”.

But enough about all that, I want to end today on a story, something that happened to me a long time ago and has become a cherished memory.

Don Rickles passed away yesterday at the age of 90.  I did not know Don Rickles but was a huge fan and did have the pleasure of meeting him.

A very long time ago I was an usher at an AFI dinner honoring Kirk Douglas.  I was maybe 22 years old and pretty overwhelmed by the number of celebrities I was in the presence of.

As the job title implies, one of our main duties was to escort the celebrities to their respective tables when they entered the ballroom.  By absolute pure luck I had the honor of escorting Don Rickles and his wife Barbara to their table.

The table was near the front of the ballroom and that 2 or 3 minute walk with Don and Barbara was epic.  From the minute he saw me it was a non-stop barrage of insults about my looks, my rented polyester tuxedo, my sexuality, my intellectual capacity, basically anything he could think of in the short walk from the ballroom doors to his table.

I think part of him just couldn’t help it, this was who he was.  But I also truly believe that he knew instinctively, from looking at the ridiculous, ear to ear smile on my face, that this short little walk and barrage of non-stop insults was the highlight of my day.

Well he was wrong.  It was the highlight of my month.  To be a young man who grew up watching Don Rickles and now I’m being insulted by him?!  This was amazing!  It was incredible!  It was, to this day, something I think about and the memory always makes me smile.

I got the two of them to their table and wished them a lovely evening and also said how great it was to have met them.  Don turned to me and asked if there was a bar.

I said yes.

He said “Great!  Go get me two Martinis.” He then turned to his wife and asked “And what do you want honey?”

I was not supposed to serve drinks, but when Don Rickles asks you for two martinis you get that man two martinis.  So I did.

I walked back to the table, drinks in hand and placed them in front of Don and Barbara.  Barbara said thank you, Don smiled.

He then motioned for me to bend down and come close, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but he patted me playfully on my cheek with his hand, told me I was a good kid and asked me, very kindly to bring them two more in twenty minutes.

So I did.

At the end of the night as they were leaving, he and Barbara approached me, they certainly didn’t have to, but they did. Don Rickles again patted me on the cheek, wished me luck in my career and then let me know it was just too bad I had a face for radio.

It’s been 20 plus years and I’m smiling now as I recall the encounter.  He was a very sweet man and in his way made it very clear that his insults were not insults and honestly how could they be.

The only time an insult doesn’t hurt is when you know for a fact it is not said with malice.

I truly believe, even though I only met him once, that there wasn’t an ounce of malice in that man’s heart.

Rest in peace you epic, beautiful, bald son of a bitch.

So that’s where I’ll end today, there’s a new podcast up next week.  Angie and I will be talking about Roswell, but you can still listen to the premiere episode before then on podbean, iTunes and a few other places.

Also why not follow me on twitter and instagram, don’t cost nohin’

And stop by facebook, somebody really should.  All links are right here:

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp

Take care everybody, see you all next Friday.

Jonathan

 

 

 

 

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