I hope everyone had a good and productive week and that you have fun plans for the weekend.
So by now I’m sure most of you have heard of the Planetary Protection Officer position at NASA that is currently vacant. If you’re unfamiliar with it, below is the link to USAJOBS which has the ad there and of course you can apply online if you meet the requirements…also spelled out in the ad.
Here’s the link:
Of course when we hear a job title like “Planetary Protection Officer” that sounds really exciting and why wouldn’t it be. I like to think I am a man of action and able to rise to the occasion so I followed the appropriate link and sent the following email to NASA and officially threw my hat into the ring for this exciting position.
I’m not trying to boast, but I really think I have a shot.
Below is the letter in full that I sent:
Dear Sir/Madam/Jedi/Starfleet Officer/Protocol Droid and/or Lizard Snake Man/Woman thing,
I am officially applying for the open position of Planetary Protection Officer. I feel I meet all the requirements and also bring some unique talents to the table that go above and beyond what you are looking for.
Firstly I do have a lot of engineering expertise. Not only am I a certified Level 30 Dungeon Master, I have created over 2000 dungeons and campaigns during my career and have drawn most of those on graph paper with both ruler and compass, in pen! That’s right Pen!
I have planned, organized and built most of the spaceships in the Star Wars Lego collection including the Millennium Falcon. Please bear in mind I am talking about the Millennium Falcon that is comprised of 5,195 pieces, not that amateur hour crap most people build.
Secondly in terms of planetary protection and space program planning expertise, I’ve got that covered in spades. I have played through the entire Mass Effect Series, Doom and am fluent and familiar with both Kerbal Space Program and the old Missile Command Game that a I play through my emulator. Also, let’s not forget the aforementioned 5,195 piece Millennium Falcon I built, on my own!
In regards to diplomacy I feel confident in saying that I am incredibly diplomatic and easy to get along with. I have negotiated various peace agreements amongst the members of my Dungeons and Dragons group, not only during campaign but out of campaign as well.
And if you think it’s easy getting a Dwarven Cleric and a half Orc Ranger to see eye to eye on the do’s and don’ts of dungeon exploration, then you give it a shot pal.
I do not have a degree in physical science, but I do have a degree in physical education.
Okay I didn’t graduate but I bet I can do more jumping jacks than you and I think that should go into my plus column.
I have also spent years watching youtube videos about aliens, ufos, tiny animals eating tiny burritos (that’s gonna come in handy trust me) and have even commanded my own starship in Star Trek Online. That is not a paid plug, but it’s a great game.
I am also fluent in Esperanto, Klingon and can get by in Spanish as long as I’m ordering a coke.
Now, I do think it would be fair to state what I think are my weaknesses. Should we come into actual contact with Aliens I think I’d be pretty good at handling that, though it might be a good idea to keep some adult diapers handy just in case. If they’re friendly we’d be good to go. However, any aliens bent on domination may present a problem. I am an avowed coward and honestly think I’d probably turn tail and betray humanity to our new overlords at the first sign of trouble, this would most likely happen after I put on a clean diaper.
I think that pretty much sums it up. I look forward to hearing back from you and serving my country, the planet and humanity.
Again, let’s not forget that whole 5,195 piece Millennium Falcon thing.
Klaatu Barada Nikto,
I encourage everyone who is interested to apply for the job, but let’s be honest, I’ve probably got this sewn up at this point.
Anyhoodledoodle, on other fronts there’s a brand new podcast up today over on podbean and iTunes for The Perilous Podcast. This week we’re talking about the infamous Black Dahlia murder. It’s a bit sad, but very interesting.
Over on the YouTube channel we’re airing the video version of last week’s podcast all about the Men In Black.
All my organic, non gmo, locally sourced links are below.
I hope everyone has a great weekend and a productive week. See y’all next Friday.
Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.
Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.
Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already! Jeez!
Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.
Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE Current episode is about the Black Dahlia.
Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.
Perilous Vlogcast http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast.