The day I went completely James T. Kirk on a Klingon.

Hey all,

When I first started doing this I had three different websites, because that seemed like a good idea…it wasn’t.

I know this may be lazy, but you shouldn’t judge because I think you’ll all enjoy the following tale that I told on my old website almost 3 years ago.

This is a true story and certainly sticks with the policy I’ve placed on here to be fun and stay away from politics until after the new year.

The story takes place back before I was sober and I wrote this post before I got so heavily into BJJ and other insane things.  I had been reflecting on my life, shenanigans and trying to open myself up by telling embarrassing and weird stories about myself.

This certainly falls into that category and I hope you are entertained and enjoy it.

So without further ado, here is a “classic” tale from the life of an idiot man child.

Enjoy.

The day I went completely James T. Kirk on a Klingon.

I live in my own little world. I don’t think that’s much of a surprise to anyone who knows me. I may technically be an adult male, but my mind is usually filled up with thoughts about things that most grown men wouldn’t bother with.

Like what would I name my pet dragon?

Or if I owned a spaceship what would it look like? Who would I crew it with? Where would I go and what would I bring with me?

I have spent way more time on those questions than any man, other than Elon Musk, probably should.

And I have answers, way too many and detailed answers to be taken seriously. I know what my ship would look like. I have a good idea of the crew, and everywhere, is usually the answer for where I would go.

Of course under what would I bring with me, that’s a bit tougher. You never know what you may encounter in space and what could end up being valuable.

On the top of the list would be Stouffer’s French bread pizza. I know, that sounds silly and to be honest I’m not that big of a fan of French bread pizza, though I used to love it as a kid.

I do however think that after six months in deep space you’d kill your crewmate for a Stouffer’s pepperoni French bread pizza, so having some on hand is probably a good idea.

See? Way too much time.

I make no bones about being a geek. I always have been and always will be.

I enjoyed playing sports growing up and still enjoy physical activity. But the thought of sitting in front of the television and watching any type of sporting event, quite frankly puts me into an instant boredom coma.

Blood sports are the one exception. UFC is the shit.

If we still had gladiator games I’d have season tickets.

Barbaric? Yes. Boring? No.

Most of my friends are really into sports and that’s cool. I have a buddy who is in three different fantasy football leagues and doesn’t understand why I’d rather play Skyrim than watch football. But the basic answer is simple. If I wanted to I could go down to the park and play football, or baseball or shoot hoops. Not that I would want to, but I could.

He thinks I’m childish.

I think Fantasy Football is Dungeons and Dragons for people who don’t know what they’re missing.

So sports, I could do if I wanted. What I can’t do is kill dragons, fight demons, travel through space or battle the joker.

I did one time, a few years ago, get into a drunken fist fight with a guy dressed as the Riddler, but I don’t think that counts because A) it was Halloween and B) the guy was an asshole.

But that was old me and I am now new me, or at least trying to be.

I don’t know if I would be considered a Trekkie or Trekker. Mainly because, I don’t quite understand why people who love Star Trek would even argue about the proper term, it’s silly.

I do love Star Trek and have watched, with pride all of the series and movies. I agree with most that Star Trek Enterprise and Voyager pretty much blew and disagree with some about the new Star Trek movies, which I think are pretty awesome.

I have however never dressed up at a convention. Though I did date a woman for a while who was into a lot of role play and like me, was a massive nerd.

I have actually uttered the phrase “But I thought Vulcans only mated once every seven years?” with a completely straight face, while dressed in a Star Trek uniform and holding my phaser.

That last bit wasn’t a euphemism; I was actually holding a Star Trek phaser.

But that all took place in the privacy of her apartment where many adventures were had and the words “Firing Photons at Uranus!” could mean a lot of different things.

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So while I have never indulged in public displays of Star Trekkiness there used to be a place that allowed me to immerse myself in that world and really have a good time.

It’s not there anymore, but it was called the Star Trek Experience. It was at the Hilton off the strip in Las Vegas, and was comprised of a VR ride (later there were two) various shops, a sci-fi themed casino area and a pretty damn accurate re-creation of Quark’s Bar.

Quark’s Bar was the main watering hole in the Star Trek series Deep Space 9. The bulk of the show took place on the Deep Space 9 Station and Quark’s was where people usually went to get hammered, gamble, fight and hook up.

The one in Las Vegas was no exception. They served lots of different Star Trek themed drinks, very decent food and the entire bar looked, for the most part, like it came right out of the series.

Anytime I went to Vegas I would make sure to go there.  Sometimes I went with friends and sometimes alone, but I always had fun.

One of the great things about Quarks and the Star Trek Experience in general was that they had people dressed up in costume who would walk around and interact with the guests. This added an extra level of immersion that at times could really transport you into the fantasy.

Especially depending on how many shots of tequila you’d had.

The best and strangest experience I ever had at Quark’s took place quite a few years ago in 2006. Three of us decided to head to Vegas for a weekend of Shenanigans. The plan was as usual, eat, drink and gamble.

Saturday morning, after much cajoling on my part I convinced my friends to come with me to Quark’s.

Neither of them were Star Trek fans and only after promising to not only pay for lunch, but all the booze, they agreed to come.

So there we sat at the bar doing shots of tequila and watching the insanity around us. After the first couple of shots my friends started to loosen up.

By the time we’d eaten our lunch and got down to the serious drinking, they were having a blast.

At one point a young man in a Federation Uniform came by and got into an argument with a Ferengi. The staged argument ended with the Federation Officer administering a stern warning.

My friends had no idea what a Ferengi was but they were definitely amused.0f6677e27008fcd4ff2a0ea960ef988c39b03625c86b6093ff62e622c6307f9d

We continued to drink and the more we did, the more my friends got into the whole experience.

It was around hour two of tequila fest when we realized there was a group of Federation Officers, sitting in a booth and pretending to drink heavily themselves.

We observed them, talking about the troubles in the neutral zone and what Star Fleet needed to do about the Cardasian situation.

My friends and I were pretty drunk at this point and incredibly impressed with the amount of detail the attraction put into the whole Quark’s Bar thing.

Then, it got even better when three, really drunk Klingon Warriors stumbled in and shouted for Ale. There were two men and one woman, all appeared to be Korean under their incredibly professional makeup.

About five minutes after the Klingons came in, things went to the next level. The largest male warrior said something that sounded very derisive in Klingon and pointed at the booth of Federation officers.

The Klingons laughed heartily, clinked beer steins and downed their ales.

There was much whispering at the Federation table and the four officers stood and stumbled over to the Klingons, telling them to watch themselves.

Theses officers were not going to be putting up with any Klingon bullshit.

That’s when the largest of the Klingons stood up and poked the commanding officer in the chest with his finger. The officer poked back. This was followed by a shove from the Klingon and then a shove from the officer.

We were really enjoying this show.

Then the Klingon warrior leaned back, belched, and slugged the Federation Officer in the jaw, sending him to the floor unconscious.

That’s when we realized that these people didn’t actually work at Quark’s or the Star Trek Experience but were simply serious fans who were seriously drunk.

The fight escalated and we ordered more shots.

Within thirty seconds it was broken up. The Federation Officers were hauled off, as was the one Klingon who’d thrown the punch. This left two Klingons sitting at the table, too drunk to go after their friend.

I decided to buy them a drink.

A few minutes later, they stumbled over toward us.

The female warrior, who I could tell was a very cute Korean girl under her ridged forehead leaned into me and said, “Hiq Jihvad!”

I didn’t know what that meant, because I don’t speak Klingon. My friends were giggling but the male Klingon warrior said, “She wants you to buy her another drink.”

So I did.

We sat there and did two more shots and had a beer together, while she mumbled in Klingon.

My two friends were currently engaged in a drinking competition with the male warrior and from what I could tell were having the time of their lives.

The female warrior wrapped her arm around my shoulder, looked me in my bleary eyes and said, “Sohvad!”

I looked to the male warrior who translated, with a smile. “She said you’ll do.”

Before I could ask what she meant by it she leaned in and kissed me. It was a deep, passionate kiss. The kind of kiss you’d expect from a Klingon Warrior.02e02219ab43a892fda20bbb1bd9c754

She grabbed my wrist, yanked me off my stool and started dragging me out of the bar. She turned back and yelled over her shoulder to her companion in Klingon.

He did not wait to be asked but immediately translated. “My sister is taking you upstairs!”

So I finally knew what was happening. I was about to go upstairs to her hotel room and engage in Klingon, Human relations.

Certainly not the strangest thing I’ve done on tequila.

I was also relieved to know this man was her brother and was incredibly curious about their childhood.

My friends shouted things like “Do it for the Federation!” and “We’ll rendezvous in sector gigidy!” They were still laughing and drinking as I was dragged through the Hilton by a six foot two, drunken, Korean Klingon warrior.

I kept trying to get her name, but she refused to speak English.

We got to her room and she threw me onto the bed and growled. Seriously, this crazy woman actually picked me up, threw me and then growled.

Needless to say I was ready to put all my efforts into the diplomatic détente between an upstanding citizen of the United Federation of Planets and a proud warrior of the Klingon Empire.

I reached out and attempted to pull the latex ridges off her forehead. She grabbed my wrists and pushed me away. It seemed she was determined to stay in character, and again would not speak to me in English.

Through a series of hand motions we were able to negotiate a partial deal. She agreed to, and did remove the false, crooked, pointed Klingon teeth she was wearing. Two lovely rows of white, straight human teeth were revealed.

Oddly enough this actually made her look stranger than she had before.

She quickly shucked herself out of her Klingon battle gear.

The whole time we were up in her room she kept screaming out words in Klingon which I hope stood for “Yes” and “Oh my God” and not “You’re doing it wrong” and “Don’t stick your finger in there”.

Finally after a couple of hours she decided we were done. Her wig was half off her head and her latex ridges looked much worse for the wear.crazy-space-chicks-star-trek-orion-slave-girls-girl-slavegir-demotivational-poster-1248607464

Laying in bed and watching TV she kept repeating the same word. “Mej”

I didn’t know what it meant and she wasn’t angry so I lay there with her for a little while longer watching an episode of Stargate. Finally she turned to me, smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

Then she pointed at the door and said “Mej”

I’m pretty sure that means leave, so I did.

Riding back down in the elevator I couldn’t really believe what happened. I had never, and to this day have never, met anyone that into Star Trek.

I had been drunkenly seduced and used as a sexual play toy by an Amazonian, Korean, Female, Klingon Warrior.

I felt really cool. Captain James T. Kirk, sleeping with green alien chicks cool.

It was one of the greatest Las Vegas Saturdays of my life.

I did the walk of absolutely no shame back into the bar and found my friends still drinking with the male Klingon.

They were completely hammered.

It turned out the Klingon guys name was Glen. He, his sister Judith (The woman who’d had her way with me) and their friend Mike—who’d been kicked out of the bar and probably arrested— would come to Vegas twice a year from Minnesota to dress as Klingons and get drunk at Quarks for about a week.

They would walk around Vegas, the entire time in character. It was their biannual pilgrimage to a place they loved.

I’m sure they were crushed when it closed.

My friends hailed me as a conquering hero, and the next time we went back to Vegas they insisted we go to Quark’s. Bar.

We never had and experience like that one again. But something like that is rarely repeated.

So if you ever find yourself in a bar in Minnesota and a tall, buxom Korean woman, in full Klingon garb approaches you, that’s probably Judith.

You’ll have two choices. You can run like a Ferengi coward.

Or put on your Kirk pants and do the Federation proud.

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Oh by the way, my spaceship would be called the Chicken Hawk.

My pet dragon’s name would be Excelsior. He is one bad mama-jama of a metallic green dragon with gold flecks and he don’t take no shit from no body.

Yeah I’m a geek, whatcha gonna do about it sports nerd?

Live long and prosper bitches.

Have a nice weekend everybody, see ya next week with another of my “conversations with nature” stories.

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

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Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about the Illuminati

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast. This week RFK and MKULTRA.

Well I don’t know about you but…

…I’m freaking exhausted.

I’ve written and re-written this entry about five times now.  The whole post was going to be discussing the current state of the right and the left, the hypocrisy on both sides by the accused and those who support them as well as delving deep into this whole insane sexual predator/assaulter tornado of shit we find ourselves in.

However, things are moving so freaking fast and crazy it’s frankly nearly impossible to keep up.

And then you check facebook…that’s a terrible idea.  Because everyone is mad about everything ever in the world, about things they should be angry about, things they shouldn’t be angry about and quite frankly just looking for new things to be angry about.

I am slowly putting a long series together and will wait until this whole thing calms down a bit to post it.  I’m doing this for a number of reasons, A) because there’s so much going on I want to wait for the fallout to see where we all stand.  For example, the whole Roy Moore shit show and to see how many more women come out from the shadows to talk about Al Franken.

B) Maybe this can be a place for people to come and just chill as we get into the holidays.  There are so many voices shouting to the sky and into the abyss of the internet that it’s just way too much sometimes and I think we could all use a little break.

So until after the new year, this will be a place where there are no politics, social commentary or anything like that. Though podcast and YouTube will not be included in that ban.

In other words…

…Fuck it, here’s a story about a Tree.

Conversations with nature: The Pink Tree

As I strolled down the lane, sunlight dappling through the clouds I was struck by the beauty of the tree.  I stopped short, breathed deep and just stared in awe at nature’s exquisite palette.

The tree stood silent, noble and proud.  I closed my eyes, reaching out with my mind for contact, my thoughts forming words.

To my surprise, the tree responded.

Hey Pink Tree. Watcha thinkin’ about? I asked.

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Nothin’ just Pink Tree stuff. It whispered in my mind.

Cool bruh.

What’d you just say to me?!

Um…cool…bruh?

I ain’t your bruh!

Whoa Pink Tree chill!

Don’t tell me to chill you little shit!

Damn Pink Tree what’s your problem?

I don’t have to explain myself to you! Fuck off human!

Whatever Pink Tree…just…whatever.

And thus ends our first installment in the conversations with nature series. More next week.

As for the podcast, nothing new up this week though Angie and I will be recording a number of them this weekend. However you can still listen to the Illuminati podcast and of course watch the video on YouTube.

Though there is a new video up on youtube today about the RFK assassination and MK Ultra. We recorded it this past summer and it has been available on podbean and iTunes for months but never got around to posting it on youtube until now.

Okay, back next week.

Hang in there everybody.

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

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Hey look at me not giving a fuck.

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about the Illuminati

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast. This week RFK and MKULTRA.

 

 

 

 

Just a quick update

Hey all,

Sorry but there’s just not much to say this week.

However there is a brand new episode up on the podcast.  This week we’re discussing the Illuminati and why it’s not what you think it is.

Over on YouTube we’re rambling on about the lingering questions we have about 9/11.

I am desperately trying to prep everything for next year so my novella and novel launch on time as well as get well ahead of the game for the two novels planned for 2019.

Anyhoo I know that’s boring as fuck but just figured I’d post.  Will try to get back into the microstories next week which everyone seems to love.

Okay have a great weekend everybody.

Links to crap are below.

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about the Illuminati

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast. This week 9/11

I’m ready to admit I can’t do this alone.

Hey all,

Thanks for stopping by the mothership.  I hope everyone had an awesome week and has some fun stuff planned for this weekend.

This week it’s all about putting ego aside and admitting when you need help.  I think we’ve all been here before.  We start something and think I can handle this.  I can do this on my own. And honestly nine times out of ten we can.

However, there are times when perhaps our pride, or even our delusional nature of being stronger than we are can get in the way and before long, instead of asking for help we find ourselves in way over our head.

I think perhaps I’m getting to that point and I’m going to put ego aside and ask for help.

The short of it is, that for the past couple of months I’ve been doing my darnedest to get blocked by the President of the United States on twitter.  When I heard he’d blocked people I thought Now there’s something I could hang my hat on.

However, it doesn’t seem to be working.  I’ve created memes, I’ve been condescending, borderline offensive and have gone full on ridicule at times.  I’ve been ending my tweets with #tinyhands #sad #adulterer #lowiq and many others.

I’ve even created a whole series of tweets and memes called Kim Jong Don.

Nothing seems to be working, so I guess it’s time to ask for help.

I’m not asking you to follow me, I’m simply asking that if you have a twitter account, if you see one of my tweets that you find particularly funny then just give it a re-tweet.  Maybe, through cooperation we can get me blocked by the most powerful man in the world.

I do not plan on filing a law suit, like some who have been blocked.  It would simply be a badge of pride for me and honestly as the year draws to a close, a really great way to end 2017.

Now if you are a conservative and voted for President Trump that’s fine and I encourage you to get on board this as well.  Because if I’m blocked by him people won’t see my tweets so you can count that as a victory.

Also, I don’t want to hear that I’m disrespecting the President.  I have not once, tweeted at or replied to any tweets under the official POTUS twitter account.  That would be disrespectful to the office and I would never do that.  And honestly if President Trump only tweeted under the POTUS account I wouldn’t engage.

But he and his staff have made it very clear that even though he is the President; when he tweets under his personal account he’s simply tweeting as a citizen.

That makes it fair game in my book.  I would never disrespect the office of the President, but constitutionally speaking I’m totally within my rights to belittle the man.

So you see I’m not trying to divide us or pick a fight with my conservative friends, I’m trying to bring us all together under the banner of free speech.

‘MERICA!

Seriously I’ve put a lot of work into this and I think I just need a little help.  So if you’re willing, if you’re ready to help a fellow American, I would appreciate it.  But hey, if not that’s cool too.

But I think it would be awesome if I logged onto twitter one morning and found I’d been blocked by President Trump.

I’ve created a bunch of memes, some I’m more proud of than others and I’m going to post some here for you to use if you’d like.  So you get some cool free prizes today too.

Here’s one I’m pretty proud of:

dosxx

 

I’m also pretty proud of these:

1xdh5r

 

maralago

I’m not above using the Federation or House Stark either:

picard

mueller

And finally two from my Kim Jong Don series that I’m pretty proud of:

kimjong2

 

kimjong6

So there you go everybody.  It’s time to come together as Americans and get me blocked by Donald Trump on twitter.  If you love America, if you love freedom, if you believe in trolling as therapy then you cannot deny this call to action!

Or don’t, seriously it’s not that big of deal.

Over on the Perilous Podcast we’re talking about some lingering questions around 9/11.  Up on YouTube it’s our super, secret, Dulce Base Alien War episode.

YAY!

Have a great weekend and I’ll see ya next Friday.

Links below:

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

20150926_151118

Hey look at me not giving a fuck.

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about 9/11

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast. This week Dulce Base!

I refuse to be ashamed of how I feel!

Hey everybody,

Thanks for coming by and giving the ol’ blog a read this week.

As my regular readers know, there are times on this site that I delve into my emotions and how I wrestle with these things a lot in my sobriety.

This, again is going to be one of those times.

I’ve been struggling with some serious feelings for a while now.  I’ve tried to deny them because in the end I know it’s self destructive.  I also know it’s both embarrassing and not what our modern society would view as acceptable.

I understand that my friends will most likely shun and shame me.  But, I can no longer hide how I feel.

I have come to peace with these feelings recently and quite frankly I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore.  I’m going to be honest with how I feel and society be damned.

In short, I am in love.

But it is the object of my desire that I expect will make most people shake their heads in shock and disbelief.  But I want this and in the end truly feel I need this to be happy.

So here it goes…I’m in love with the 1977 Lincoln Continental.  More specifically the 1977 Lincoln Continental Mark V Givenchy Edition.

There; I said it.  It’s out in the open now and I will no longer deny my feelings.

I mean seriously, look at this baby!

 

 

 

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Yeah.  I know, I know, but the heart wants what the heart wants.  It’s just so…so green.  I mean incredibly green.  Even the inside of this baby is all green.

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Yup, that’s a lot of green.

This thing is frickin’ incredible.  It’s a bit smaller than an aircraft carrier, gets about a half mile to the gallon, is an electrical nightmare but my God it’s glorious!

The inside of the door is green, the roof is green even the mutha effin’ steering wheel is green.  It’s a miracle of ugly, undeniable insanity and I want it so badly.

And yes, to answer your question that is green shag carpet.

Regular readers may not know this about me but I’m sure all of you who actually know me will agree, that if I pulled up one day in a Porsche or say a classic Mercedes or even a muscle car you’d think Man, Latt is really trying way too hard because that is not the car for him.

However, if I pulled up in this sexy ass thing your one and only thought would be Huh.  Yeah that makes sense.

So I have decided that if I do really well this next year and my forthcoming novels make enough money I am going to throw caution to the wind and embrace this shameful love of mine and buy this undeniably horrid catastrophe of unwarranted beauty and stupidity.

I understand some of you won’t be able to look at me the same after this.  I understand that I may have lost the respect of my friends with this admission, but I honestly don’t care.

I will no longer hide how I feel and I don’t care who knows.

Just take one last look at this and tell me you don’t understand that this love is wholesome, true and right.

Okay so yeah, just having a little fun this week because of all the other terrible stuff going on in the world.  Next week will probably be a micro story or something.

But seriously, I am going to buy this fucking thing at some point.  It wont fit in my garage, it wont even fit in my driveway but I don’t care.  To me, she is beautiful and that’s all that counts.

In the meantime there’s a new podcast up all about aliens and what we can assume about extraterrestrials if they’re coming here.

Over on YouTube there’s a new video about Trump and Mueller.

And hey follow me on twitter as I continue my attempts at getting blocked by the President of the United States.

Links!

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

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Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about Alien Life.

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast.  This week Trump and Mueller.

 

 

 

 

Let’s talk about our right to own guns.

Well, to put things plainly, we actually don’t have the right to own guns…I say this as someone who owns guns by the way.

The first time I shot I was 8 years old, my dad took me to the gun range and we shot for about two hours.  I’m sure my experience is not much different from other Americans who enjoy shooting.

The only difference probably being that since I am from Los Angeles my first shooting experience was indoors with an Uzi and not outside with a shotgun or rifle.

Los Angeles in the 1970s was a pretty different place than it is now so you could shoot a lot of crazy crap.  My first time out I shot the Uzi and the HK94, I doubt you could do that now.

I was raised with guns, I enjoy skeet shooting and target shooting.  However, I don’t actually have the right to own a weapon and neither do you.

Let’s take a look at the second amendment shall we.

Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Let’s look at, and consider the context here.  During the years of 1787-1788 when the constitution was being ratified there was tons of debate…some very heated about how the rights of citizens would be determined and what those rights would be.

Among many of the reasons for the establishment of the Bill of Rights (the first 10 amendments of the constitution) was to find a middle ground between a citizen’s rights under the law and the protection of the newly formed United States of America from both invasion and possible reclamation by England.

We did not have a standing army per se.  The citizen soldiers who fought in the revolution as part of the Continental Army had gone back to their lives and were mostly part of militia groups that would be activated should the need arise.

Our first true, standing army would not be formed until 1791 under the banner of the Legion of the United States.

So, during the time of ratification it was proposed that for various reasons these irregular militias and the men who would fight in them should be allowed to keep their muskets, and have them in good working order should they be called upon to defend their newly sovereign country.

Their is nothing in the second amendment about “ownership” or “recreational usage” of firearms.

Now, having said that of course many people (though less than you’d think) owned a musket.  However, this was a different time when most people still lived off the land and a gun was truly used for providing meat for the family not kept because of the fear of home invasion.

But, do keep in mind that hunting back then was done communally as well.  One man might have a musket but a “hunting party” would be formed and the deer or whatever animal was shot would be shared amongst many.

Over time the second amendment has been warped, purposefully misinterpreted and used to sell a lie.  That lie being that all Americans have the right of gun ownership and that we should be allowed to own any type of weapon and as many weapons as we want.

The loudest of these voices tend to be the ones who also shout about how they are true believers in the rights of Americans and pure constitutionalists.  Which of course they’re not.

In short none of us have the right to own a gun.  However, a lot of us do and the government is never going to come and take your guns away for many reasons.

One of them being that it is absolutely too monumental of a task to undertake.  The thought or idea that some NWO government goon squad is going to roll up on your home and confiscate your weapons is ridiculous and if you really think that’s even remotely possible you’re a fucking idiot.

Another reason is that both the NRA and the gun industry in general spend millions of dollars a year lobbying (buying the whores in congress) for ever more loose definitions of the second amendment.  They do this under the guise of protecting a citizen’s freedom but that’s not really why they do it.

They do it for the money.  The NRA by the way is nothing but a con job.  They make their money keeping you in fear of losing a right you don’t actually have, they’re in the business of fear mongering and they want you to be afraid so they lie to you and make you afraid of big brother coming to take your guns away and herding you into some made up bullshit FEMA camp.

But that’s never gonna happen so just chill out.

I actually don’t blame the gun industry for lobbying.  They’re in the business of selling guns and they want to sell as many as they can.  That’s how business works and that’s how free market capitalism works.

I don’t like corporate lobbying and think we should do away with it (how do you think ketchup became recognized as a vegetable) but they’re working within a system and they’re doing it because it’s their business.

The NRA on the other hand is just flat out full of crap.  They don’t offer anything real.  They sell fear, nothing more.  They need you to re-up your membership every year.  They need you to be afraid of liberals.  They need you to be terrified that gang members are going to bust into your home-even if you live way out in the country where there aren’t any gangs-and have their way with your wife and children before murdering you all with illegally purchased weapons.

In conclusion(ish); the second amendment does not give any of us the right to own firearms.  However, the main and basic interpretation of the amendment has been for at least the past hundred plus years is that it does.  It is an incorrect interpretation but it is a widely accepted one.

This false interpretation is the reason you can purchase a handgun or rifle.  So let’s be completely honest here, no one is coming for your guns.  They’re not coming for mine either.

As someone who lives in a city with an ever increasing crime rate I think I should be allowed to own a pistol to protect myself should someone bust into my home.

I also know that the chance of this happening is so miniscule it’s almost ridiculous.  But should I have that right?  I actually think I should.

Does a strict and true interpretation of the second amendment give me that right?  No.  No it doesn’t.

So this is where things get even more contentious, because while I believe in the right of a citizen to own a pistol or even a shotgun and rifle I do not believe any citizen needs an assault rifle, let alone a fully automatic assault rifle.

Most of the people who own assault rifles (and I’ve talked to many) think that at some point there will be a revolution or U.N. tanks are going to start rolling down the street.  They have a fantasy of being a fighter for America in a war that will never come.

But the fact is none of us has the right to any of this.

The other fact is that never, ever, ever, never is anyone coming to take your guns away.

So if you think an American citizen should have the right to own a fully automatic assault rifle that’s fine, I disagree whole heartedly, but that’s fine.  Opinions are free and you’re certainly allowed yours and I mine.

If you think waiting periods, restricting the sale of certain weapons, background checks and mental health evaluations are unconstitutional you’re kind of an asshole.

If you think “they” are coming for your weapons, your delusional and right where the NRA wants you.

If you think your right to own any gun whatsoever is actually, truly your right because you believe in the constitution, you don’t understand the constitution.

I’m a liberal, I’m a gun owner, I’m a believer in the right of an American to own a weapon.

Just not any and every weapon.

Okay so I got that off my chest…next week something more lighthearted.

Over on the perilous podcast this week we’re talking about the Mueller investigation.

On YouTube it’s the Loch Ness monster episode with guest host Barbra Dillon.

All my links to these and other useless distractions are below.

Have a nice weekend everybody.

Jonathan

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

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Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about the Mueller investigation

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast.  This week The Loch Ness Monster

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ugh!@

Hey all,

So this is a special time of year.  A time of year that comes but once a year.  That special, amazing time of year when I throw out all of my convictions and fold like a cheap card table.

I was raised Jewish but disavowed all organized religion over 30 years ago now.  However, during the Jewish High Holidays I throw out all my convictions and pretend to be Jewish.  Well, Jewishish to be more specific.

I will be going to temple tonight and tomorrow morning to bask in the incredibly boring glow of old superstitious beliefs because I’m an absolute wuss when it comes to my mother and she really wants me to go and be with her, so I’m going.

She knows I hate it, she knows I don’t take it seriously and she knows I find the whole thing ridiculous.

And she doesn’t care.

Ya gotta respect that.

On an incredibly positive note my sister has to go too and no matter how old I get there’s something really wonderful about knowing that my sister will be just as miserable as I am, maybe, just maybe even more miserable.

We call that a mitzvah!

Huh, maybe I’m more Jewish than I thought.

On a whorey note, there’s a brand new podcast up this week with special guest host Barbra Dillon of fanbase press.  We talk all about the Loch Ness Monster and some other random geek stuff.

 

And over on the youtubes Angie and I are discussing the possibility of Parallel Worlds, so there’s that.

Follow the links and I’ll see y’all next week.

Best,

Jonathan

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about the Loch Ness Monster

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast.  This week Parallel Words.

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