Well I don’t know about you but…

…I’m freaking exhausted.

I’ve written and re-written this entry about five times now.  The whole post was going to be discussing the current state of the right and the left, the hypocrisy on both sides by the accused and those who support them as well as delving deep into this whole insane sexual predator/assaulter tornado of shit we find ourselves in.

However, things are moving so freaking fast and crazy it’s frankly nearly impossible to keep up.

And then you check facebook…that’s a terrible idea.  Because everyone is mad about everything ever in the world, about things they should be angry about, things they shouldn’t be angry about and quite frankly just looking for new things to be angry about.

I am slowly putting a long series together and will wait until this whole thing calms down a bit to post it.  I’m doing this for a number of reasons, A) because there’s so much going on I want to wait for the fallout to see where we all stand.  For example, the whole Roy Moore shit show and to see how many more women come out from the shadows to talk about Al Franken.

B) Maybe this can be a place for people to come and just chill as we get into the holidays.  There are so many voices shouting to the sky and into the abyss of the internet that it’s just way too much sometimes and I think we could all use a little break.

So until after the new year, this will be a place where there are no politics, social commentary or anything like that. Though podcast and YouTube will not be included in that ban.

In other words…

…Fuck it, here’s a story about a Tree.

Conversations with nature: The Pink Tree

As I strolled down the lane, sunlight dappling through the clouds I was struck by the beauty of the tree.  I stopped short, breathed deep and just stared in awe at nature’s exquisite palette.

The tree stood silent, noble and proud.  I closed my eyes, reaching out with my mind for contact, my thoughts forming words.

To my surprise, the tree responded.

Hey Pink Tree. Watcha thinkin’ about? I asked.

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Nothin’ just Pink Tree stuff. It whispered in my mind.

Cool bruh.

What’d you just say to me?!

Um…cool…bruh?

I ain’t your bruh!

Whoa Pink Tree chill!

Don’t tell me to chill you little shit!

Damn Pink Tree what’s your problem?

I don’t have to explain myself to you! Fuck off human!

Whatever Pink Tree…just…whatever.

And thus ends our first installment in the conversations with nature series. More next week.

As for the podcast, nothing new up this week though Angie and I will be recording a number of them this weekend. However you can still listen to the Illuminati podcast and of course watch the video on YouTube.

Though there is a new video up on youtube today about the RFK assassination and MK Ultra. We recorded it this past summer and it has been available on podbean and iTunes for months but never got around to posting it on youtube until now.

Okay, back next week.

Hang in there everybody.

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

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Hey look at me not giving a fuck.

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about the Illuminati

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast. This week RFK and MKULTRA.

 

 

 

 

Just another quick update

 

Hey all,

So I know I said I’d be posting more micro-stories but I’ve just been swamped.  I’m hoping to do some this afternoon and post over the next few weeks or so.

In the meantime there’s a brand new episode of The Perilous Podcast.  This week we are discussing Bob Lazar and why I think he isn’t lying about his time at Area 51.

You can also catch up on old podcasts over at the podbean page (link below) or if you’d rather watch them in video form head on over to the new Perilous Podcast YouTube channel…also below with the links and junks.

For some added, free entertainment, my cohost Angie and I shot some promos for the podcast…we weren’t very good so here’s some bloopers for y’all.

I’ve got some fun stuff happening over the weekend like going to an actual party and also I’m heading downtown to the Eddie Bravo Invitational.  I’ve never been to anything like this before so I’m pretty excited.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I’ll see you all Monday.

Best,

Jonathan

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Stupid pictures I post of me doing stupid life stuff.

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Read my reviews before you buy my novel.

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Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Buy my novel already!  Jeez!

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA I say stupid stuff in small snippets.

Perilous Podcast http://bit.ly/2och5LE  Current episode is about the mysterious Bob Lazar.

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Probably pictures of me getting beaten up.

Perilous Vlogcast  http://bit.ly/perilpod It’s the video version of the Podcast.

The Ghost of Stuff N Stuff

Hidely Hodely Space Cowboys and Cowgirls.  Thanks for cycling through the air lock and paying the old mothership a visit.

The bro-host and I are currently recording podcasts for the new show The Perilous Podcast which will begin airing in late December/early January so I appreciate the patience.

However, we have both stumbled upon a ridiculous app called Candid which has turned us both into amazing, trolling, shitlords.  We were so amused we felt the need to record a spontaneous episode of Stuff n Stuff.

This was actually recorded a few weeks ago but I’ve been so busy I spaced and forgot to upload it until today.

We say and do a lot of terrible things we don’t mean so do try to lighten up and enjoy, and make sure to check your triggering at the door.  We set out in this podcast to be as extreme as possible to simply show how ridiculously fun and offensive this app can be for letting off steam and saying things you don’t mean.

Here’s a link to the podbean site and it should be on iTunes within a day or so. http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

I’ll probably be running a series of micro stories over the next few weeks since I get a lot of dm’s on twitter from readers who really enjoy them.

In the meantime here are some handy dandy links for everyone:

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

Podcast http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp

Follow me and I’ll follow back, unless you’re a porn bot.  Seriously stop it already porn bots.

If you’re in Los Angeles or coming to Los Angeles and forgot to bring a good book to read head on over to Skylight Books at 1818 North Vermont Ave in Los Angeles (90027).  They’re a really cool independent bookstore that supports local writers like me by carrying their books.

If you like a great book, but don’t know what you’re in the mood for the staff is really knowledgeable.  They have turned me onto some really great reads over the years.

If you don’t like great books, just go in and purchase my book The Geek.

Okay more to come next week.

I hope everybody has a great rest of the week and a fun weekend.

Best,

Jonathan

 

The Order of The Phoenix FanFest

Howdy All and thanks for swinging by the mothership.

As things mellow out around here and I get more into a rhythm again the updates will become more regular, which is good…I assume.

This week however I’m running around like a crazy person getting ready for Phoenix Fan Fest in Phoenix, Arizona.

I’ll be there promoting the upcoming release of the long delayed audio version of my pulp novel The Geek as well as new releases for 2017.

I’m also looking forward to catching up and hanging out with the Two Gay Geeks themselves Ben and Keith who are two of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet and have just scary, encyclopedic knowledge of all things sci-fi, fantasy, comics and general geeky goodness.

Plus I have been told there is either a damn good Chinese or Mexican meal in my future when we hang and there are few things on this planet better than sharing a good meal with good friends.

As I continue to adjust to this new world of media platforms I’m making some big moves toward becoming my own self contained colony of product.  This includes starting my own media company for all future projects in 2017 and beyond, but more on that as we approach the new year.

I’m not innovating anything really but following in the steps and attempting to copy those whom I admire like Felicia Day, Chris Hardwick and Philip DeFranco.

Basically in order to survive (and hopefully thrive) in the new entertainment industry landscape we must all become our own media empire.

While I am nowhere near empiric I am hoping to establish the aforementioned tiny little colony of my own making that will encompass both ebook, print and audio novels, my podcast, the new youtube channel and other creative ventures that will keep me mildly relevant as the yeas go on.  Or until I can finally afford that spaceship I’ve had my eye on since I was 8 and go off to explore the galaxy.

If you see me in Phoenix come up and say hi, feel free to buy me a taco because tacos are the international symbol of love and understanding.

Or I may just buy you a taco as an attempted bribe to get you to read my novel.

Oh and that whole love and understanding crapola I mentioned too.

In the meantime why not go check out all my social media or catch up on some old podcasts.  They’re pretty half-assed and craptacular but hey I know what my audience likes.

If you’re in the Los Angeles area or coming to visit why not head down to Skylight Books in Los Feliz.  Skylight is a great independent bookstore and I’ve gotten some wonderful counter culture books there over the years.  They also happen to be very supportive of indie writers which is why they carry The Geek.

Skylight is located at 1818 North Vermont Ave in Los Angeles (90027)

What’s really cool is that if you purchase my novel and tell them that I sent you, they’ll stare at you blankly, because honestly they have no idea who I am, so that could be fun.

So head on over and pick up a paperback copy of my novel and then walk up the street to Fred 62 which is a super tasty diner with amazing milk shakes.  Fred 62 does not carry my book, but I’m letting that slide because the food is so good.

Holy Jebus!  Links!

http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc Instagram

http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA Twitter

http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp Facebook

http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH Podcast

http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6 Amazon

http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k Goodreads

Take care folks, have a great weekend and I’ll see you all next week.

Best,

Jonathan

The Joys of Home Ownership…at some point…I assume.

So I’ve been in the new place for about a month.  I really do love it, and having the recording studio in the house is a total game changer, but I’m still living in boxes and still haven’t really unpacked due to all of the renovations going on around the house.

We’re going to be about a week and a half over schedule but we are under budget at the moment and should end up right at the max of the budget. That includes the unforeseen disaster that was replacing both the roof on the house and the recording studio.

The crew working on my house are an amazing group of talented, honest, fun, friendly hard working guys.

But seriously, they need to get the fuck out.

I’m still working on the audio version of The Geek and it will definitely be out and available for download or ignoring by the end of October.  Just in time for the holiday buying season.  That’s right, Christmas, Chanukah and Festivus will be here sooner than you think and nothing says let’s celebrate some quasi-religious stuff like a pulp novel filled with terrible people doing terrible things, over the top violence, sex, a handful of dead hookers and a house filled with unicorns and pornography.

Yup, just like Life of Pi but less tiger sex.

If you’re in the Los Angeles area and want to pick up a paperback while supporting local indie bookstores and local writers, The Geek is available at Skylight Books at 1818 North Vermont Avenue in Los Feliz.  Lots of cool places to eat and shops to shop in down there so make a day of it.

If you’re not in Los Angeles or just don’t want to go anywhere it’s of course available on Amazon.com as a paperback or ebook and ebook all around the world on basically every conceivable site where you can buy an ebook.

And what’s this?   http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k    Oh that?  That’s nothin’.  Just a link to my goodreads page where you can check out reviews and ratings before spending your cash on something you think may suck.

You may think it sucks after you buy it too…can’t help ya there but I do hope you enjoy it.

Here’s a link to amazon with more reviews and while you’re there maybe you might wanna drop 99 cents on my tiny little collection of short stories.  I will also be doing an audio book of that sometime in November.  http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

The last episode of Stuff N Stuff aired this past Wednesday and everybody who listens was sad to see it go (literally tens of people) however we’ll be launching a new podcast soon called The Chapel Perilous so you know, there’s that.  In the meantime if you like listening to two morons who have no idea what the hell they’re talking about all episodes are up and available to listen to or download on iTunes or here http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

Wanna follow me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter?  Yeah me neither, but the links are up top if you’re morbidly curious.

Finally I did want to address the passing of Gene Wilder this week.  I’m a child of the seventies and Gene Wilder was a big part of that.  It really didn’t matter what movie he was in, he always made it better (like bacon).

A lot of millennial types might only know him as Willy Wonka or worse, just as that weird guy in that meme picture.  I hope people will go back and watch some of his movies so they can truly enjoy the man whose on camera personae and sincerity in every role was a joy to watch.

I’ve been digging through boxes and watching some of my favorite Gene Wilder movies the past week and I recommend the following highly…they’re listed in the order I watched them but you watch how you want:

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Stir Crazy

The Producers

Silver Streak

Blazing Saddles

Young Frankenstein (Pronounced Frahnkunshteen)

Well there you have it, I highly recommend those  and even more obscure ones like The World’s Greatest Lover.

He’s more than a meme and his movies will live on, but so will that meme and in this day and age that’s a little slice of appropriate immortality we can call a victory.

Have a great labor day to my US readers and a lovely regular weekend to everybody else.

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The unbearable likeness of being Micro

Hey All,

As usual thanks for stopping by.  After literally tens of requests for some more micro stories that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.  So for around the next seven weeks I’ll be posting micro stories.

My goal with these stories is of course to attempt to tell a complete story in a paragraph or two.  However, they will also collectively tell one whole story…hopefully.

Once I’ve posted them as individual stories I’ll do one final post of all of them together so that the full story is laid out.

The two big, key words to keep in mind here are attempt and hopefully.

All the links to my other useless crapola will be after the story.  Hope you guys like it.

Best,

Jonathan

SOLACE

The wooden gate creaked only slightly when he opened it.

The smell of the blossoms was both intoxicating and relaxing.

For the first time in a long time he felt safe.

With every step toward the door, the shadows of his past fell further behind him.

The singular lamppost, glowing a soft yellow in the moonlight welcomed him home.

Instagram http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc

Youtube http://bit.ly/1Sf9MXN

Goodreads http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k

Amazon http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

Twitter http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

Podcast http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

Facebook http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp

 

Movin’ Groovin’ and Youtubin’

Well things happen and don’t happen in this town. Such is the way of the working writer.

Life, if we stop to relax and think about it, is a pretty good thing. Sure there are ups and there are downs but overall this little blue marble aint a bad place to hang out, all things considered.

My recently optioned screenplay seems to be going nowhere relatively quickly. The second option is coming up and I’ll have to decide on what to do with that. I’m really proud of this one and don’t want it to languish. I also really like the producers who are attached and don’t want to walk away from them, if they feel they just need a little more time to set some meetings. It’s a conundrum every writer faces at some point. Do I trust myself, or these people who have shown interest yet are unable to move it along?

Usually my answer to this is trust the other people. I tend to make bad, irrational choices for many different reasons, but am learning to control those self-destructive impulses the older I get.

My pulp novel continues to grow in popularity which I am incredibly grateful for. It will never be considered a classic of literature, nor should it. It’s a pulpy, hyper-violent and semi sexually explicit bit of fun. But, people are having fun reading it and the feedback warms the small, dark, thing that rests where my heart would be. If I had a heart, but I don’t, that thing is fucking useless.

And you do need to be heartless when it comes to writing. I’m not saying you should wake up every morning, have a hearty breakfast, a nice strong cup of coffee and then go find the nearest puppy to kick. You shouldn’t do that, that’s not cool.

The kicking the puppy part, not the hearty breakfast part, you should definitely eat breakfast.

I had the really awesome opportunity to speak at Whedoncon this past weekend and I have to say for my first time speaking at a sci-fi con, I had a great time.

One of the things I did was give a short seminar on writing and creating strong mythology within your work; which is incredibly important. I also talked about being heartless and how important that is.

By heartless, what I really mean is that you cannot grow so attached to your characters that you refuse to do things for the greater good of the story simply out of “love” for this fictional person or persons you’ve created.

I’ve received emails and DMs from readers who seem incredibly shocked about the death(s) of certain individuals within The Geek (that pulp novel I was talking about…out now!) and how these deaths broke their heart and they didn’t understand how I could kill them off.

My response is always the same. “Do you feel it worked for the story? Do you think their deaths were necessary?”

And luckily, for the most part, their answers are the same. “Yes.” They didn’t like it, they thought perhaps a narrow escape would have been better for these characters, but all admitted in the end, that the overall story would have lost quite a bit of its realism and intensity if these two characters had survived.

Now I will say that while I didn’t mind killing off one of these characters, because I wasn’t all that attached to them. This other character’s death in the book was troubling. I loved him (or her, no spoilers). I really did. I wrote a few chapters where this character survived or got the upper hand in a few different ways but it just didn’t work.

Within the mythology of The Geek, if this one specific character had survived, it would have changed everything. Gary (the main character) would not have been as affected as he was. The world would not have felt as real and/or desperate as it does.

If I had betrayed the mythology I created, because I listened to my heart, it would have been a disservice to the ultimately, poor, dead, son (or daughter) of a gun whose death, while evidently tragic was incredibly important.

Heartless. One must always be heartless. Break the rules of the world you create and you break the story.

Speaking of which, next week I’ll be starting a series of micro-stories, which I haven’t done in a while and people have been asking for. Hopefully you’ll enjoy them.

In the meantime, why not go grab a copy of The Geek. It’s available on Amazon.com in paperback and ebook. It’s also available now in paperback in both the UK and Canada on amazon as well.

Of course it’s available as an ebook from every place you can get an ebook, be it itunes, B&N and Kobol to name a few.

Here’s a link to amazon.com http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

And Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/1NM5GUN

Wanna ask me a question? Wanna nerd out together with all us cool book nerds. Well then come on over to goodreads and hang out.  http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k

Would you like to hear me whine, complain and bitch? Well then the Stuff n Stuff podcast is exactly what you’re looking for. Once a week, for about thirty minutes I sit down with my bro-host and we pick a topic to discuss. We then stay on topic for about 30 seconds before the whole thing derails, it’s quite fun.  http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

I’ve launched my incredibly mediocre Youtube channel and continue to work on programming and content for it. I hate to say it, but I really am having fun so come on by I’m doing a myriad of things, none of which make any sense.

Here’s a link to click  http://bit.ly/1Sf9MXN  and then why not subscribe and like my videos, don’t cost nothin’

Follow me on twitter, I always follow back unless you’re a porn bot or trying to sell me followers.  http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

And there’s facebooking to be had cuz that’s still a thing.  http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp

And hey, why not instagram which I occasionally post on, when I’m not looking at pictures of food or cosplay hotties (don’t judge me! Don’t you dare judge me!) http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc

I really appreciate you stopping by. I hope you have a great rest of the week, an awesome weekend and a “not suck as crap” Monday.

I’ll see you all here next week. For now I’m off to kick a puppy. Shit! I mean breakfast, I’m off to have a hearty breakfast…um….yeah.

Best,

Jonathan