The Joys of Home Ownership…at some point…I assume.

So I’ve been in the new place for about a month.  I really do love it, and having the recording studio in the house is a total game changer, but I’m still living in boxes and still haven’t really unpacked due to all of the renovations going on around the house.

We’re going to be about a week and a half over schedule but we are under budget at the moment and should end up right at the max of the budget. That includes the unforeseen disaster that was replacing both the roof on the house and the recording studio.

The crew working on my house are an amazing group of talented, honest, fun, friendly hard working guys.

But seriously, they need to get the fuck out.

I’m still working on the audio version of The Geek and it will definitely be out and available for download or ignoring by the end of October.  Just in time for the holiday buying season.  That’s right, Christmas, Chanukah and Festivus will be here sooner than you think and nothing says let’s celebrate some quasi-religious stuff like a pulp novel filled with terrible people doing terrible things, over the top violence, sex, a handful of dead hookers and a house filled with unicorns and pornography.

Yup, just like Life of Pi but less tiger sex.

If you’re in the Los Angeles area and want to pick up a paperback while supporting local indie bookstores and local writers, The Geek is available at Skylight Books at 1818 North Vermont Avenue in Los Feliz.  Lots of cool places to eat and shops to shop in down there so make a day of it.

If you’re not in Los Angeles or just don’t want to go anywhere it’s of course available on Amazon.com as a paperback or ebook and ebook all around the world on basically every conceivable site where you can buy an ebook.

And what’s this?   http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k    Oh that?  That’s nothin’.  Just a link to my goodreads page where you can check out reviews and ratings before spending your cash on something you think may suck.

You may think it sucks after you buy it too…can’t help ya there but I do hope you enjoy it.

Here’s a link to amazon with more reviews and while you’re there maybe you might wanna drop 99 cents on my tiny little collection of short stories.  I will also be doing an audio book of that sometime in November.  http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

The last episode of Stuff N Stuff aired this past Wednesday and everybody who listens was sad to see it go (literally tens of people) however we’ll be launching a new podcast soon called The Chapel Perilous so you know, there’s that.  In the meantime if you like listening to two morons who have no idea what the hell they’re talking about all episodes are up and available to listen to or download on iTunes or here http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

Wanna follow me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter?  Yeah me neither, but the links are up top if you’re morbidly curious.

Finally I did want to address the passing of Gene Wilder this week.  I’m a child of the seventies and Gene Wilder was a big part of that.  It really didn’t matter what movie he was in, he always made it better (like bacon).

A lot of millennial types might only know him as Willy Wonka or worse, just as that weird guy in that meme picture.  I hope people will go back and watch some of his movies so they can truly enjoy the man whose on camera personae and sincerity in every role was a joy to watch.

I’ve been digging through boxes and watching some of my favorite Gene Wilder movies the past week and I recommend the following highly…they’re listed in the order I watched them but you watch how you want:

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Stir Crazy

The Producers

Silver Streak

Blazing Saddles

Young Frankenstein (Pronounced Frahnkunshteen)

Well there you have it, I highly recommend those  and even more obscure ones like The World’s Greatest Lover.

He’s more than a meme and his movies will live on, but so will that meme and in this day and age that’s a little slice of appropriate immortality we can call a victory.

Have a great labor day to my US readers and a lovely regular weekend to everybody else.

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Movin’ Groovin’ and Youtubin’

Well things happen and don’t happen in this town. Such is the way of the working writer.

Life, if we stop to relax and think about it, is a pretty good thing. Sure there are ups and there are downs but overall this little blue marble aint a bad place to hang out, all things considered.

My recently optioned screenplay seems to be going nowhere relatively quickly. The second option is coming up and I’ll have to decide on what to do with that. I’m really proud of this one and don’t want it to languish. I also really like the producers who are attached and don’t want to walk away from them, if they feel they just need a little more time to set some meetings. It’s a conundrum every writer faces at some point. Do I trust myself, or these people who have shown interest yet are unable to move it along?

Usually my answer to this is trust the other people. I tend to make bad, irrational choices for many different reasons, but am learning to control those self-destructive impulses the older I get.

My pulp novel continues to grow in popularity which I am incredibly grateful for. It will never be considered a classic of literature, nor should it. It’s a pulpy, hyper-violent and semi sexually explicit bit of fun. But, people are having fun reading it and the feedback warms the small, dark, thing that rests where my heart would be. If I had a heart, but I don’t, that thing is fucking useless.

And you do need to be heartless when it comes to writing. I’m not saying you should wake up every morning, have a hearty breakfast, a nice strong cup of coffee and then go find the nearest puppy to kick. You shouldn’t do that, that’s not cool.

The kicking the puppy part, not the hearty breakfast part, you should definitely eat breakfast.

I had the really awesome opportunity to speak at Whedoncon this past weekend and I have to say for my first time speaking at a sci-fi con, I had a great time.

One of the things I did was give a short seminar on writing and creating strong mythology within your work; which is incredibly important. I also talked about being heartless and how important that is.

By heartless, what I really mean is that you cannot grow so attached to your characters that you refuse to do things for the greater good of the story simply out of “love” for this fictional person or persons you’ve created.

I’ve received emails and DMs from readers who seem incredibly shocked about the death(s) of certain individuals within The Geek (that pulp novel I was talking about…out now!) and how these deaths broke their heart and they didn’t understand how I could kill them off.

My response is always the same. “Do you feel it worked for the story? Do you think their deaths were necessary?”

And luckily, for the most part, their answers are the same. “Yes.” They didn’t like it, they thought perhaps a narrow escape would have been better for these characters, but all admitted in the end, that the overall story would have lost quite a bit of its realism and intensity if these two characters had survived.

Now I will say that while I didn’t mind killing off one of these characters, because I wasn’t all that attached to them. This other character’s death in the book was troubling. I loved him (or her, no spoilers). I really did. I wrote a few chapters where this character survived or got the upper hand in a few different ways but it just didn’t work.

Within the mythology of The Geek, if this one specific character had survived, it would have changed everything. Gary (the main character) would not have been as affected as he was. The world would not have felt as real and/or desperate as it does.

If I had betrayed the mythology I created, because I listened to my heart, it would have been a disservice to the ultimately, poor, dead, son (or daughter) of a gun whose death, while evidently tragic was incredibly important.

Heartless. One must always be heartless. Break the rules of the world you create and you break the story.

Speaking of which, next week I’ll be starting a series of micro-stories, which I haven’t done in a while and people have been asking for. Hopefully you’ll enjoy them.

In the meantime, why not go grab a copy of The Geek. It’s available on Amazon.com in paperback and ebook. It’s also available now in paperback in both the UK and Canada on amazon as well.

Of course it’s available as an ebook from every place you can get an ebook, be it itunes, B&N and Kobol to name a few.

Here’s a link to amazon.com http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

And Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/1NM5GUN

Wanna ask me a question? Wanna nerd out together with all us cool book nerds. Well then come on over to goodreads and hang out.  http://bit.ly/1XpMF4k

Would you like to hear me whine, complain and bitch? Well then the Stuff n Stuff podcast is exactly what you’re looking for. Once a week, for about thirty minutes I sit down with my bro-host and we pick a topic to discuss. We then stay on topic for about 30 seconds before the whole thing derails, it’s quite fun.  http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

I’ve launched my incredibly mediocre Youtube channel and continue to work on programming and content for it. I hate to say it, but I really am having fun so come on by I’m doing a myriad of things, none of which make any sense.

Here’s a link to click  http://bit.ly/1Sf9MXN  and then why not subscribe and like my videos, don’t cost nothin’

Follow me on twitter, I always follow back unless you’re a porn bot or trying to sell me followers.  http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

And there’s facebooking to be had cuz that’s still a thing.  http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp

And hey, why not instagram which I occasionally post on, when I’m not looking at pictures of food or cosplay hotties (don’t judge me! Don’t you dare judge me!) http://bit.ly/1XgDJfc

I really appreciate you stopping by. I hope you have a great rest of the week, an awesome weekend and a “not suck as crap” Monday.

I’ll see you all here next week. For now I’m off to kick a puppy. Shit! I mean breakfast, I’m off to have a hearty breakfast…um….yeah.

Best,

Jonathan

Back to the grind.

Hey all,

Welcome back to the mother ship.  I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and that you’re Monday isn’t too mess up.

Well I’m done with all the SJW crapola and moving on.  Over on reluctant joy I’ll be posting some micro-stories. Since they’re only a paragraph I’ll be doing two a week, with new ones on Mondays and Wednesdays. Up first “Earth” http://bit.ly/rljywp

Over on podbean and iTunes Palmer and I are talking our usual nonsense.  Rob makes the mistake of trying to convince me of the value of jewish culture rap (oy!) I explain negative fuck math to him and then we end the podcast with me creating a sex act called The Egg McMuffin and one called the Luke Skywalker.  I give us both homework to come up with more for Wednesdays episode.  So it’s the usual horrible stuff on Stuff n Stuff http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

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Intrigued by this mysterious photo?  Go here for answers http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

And head on over to like my facebook page http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp or follow me on twitter cuz you know…lulz http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

Well I hope everyone has a great day and I’ll see you all Wednesday.

Best,

Jonathan

Let the festivities begin.

So today is the day I start my staycation. Thank goodness.

But there are still things to talk about.

Over on Reluctant Joy it’s my final piece on the SJW war.  This week it’s MGTOW, you’ll know what that means by the end of the blog. http://bit.ly/rljywp

Currently streaming on Stuff n Stuff, it’s lost episode number 2.  Palmer and I spoke about Canadian Culture and why you shouldn’t get drunk and mispronounce the word poutine.  Ever.  Rob also decides it’s a perfect time to wow the audience with his amazing impressions.  It goes about as well as you’d expect.  Stuff n Stuff is available on ITunes and Podbean and there’s a brand new episode Wednesday!  http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

It’s thanksgiving week so hopefully work is light and you can get away with not doing much.  If you really wanna stick it to the man why not head to my author page on amazon and pick up a copy of my pulp novel The Geek or my short story collection D’jinn and other stories.  That’d show em!  http://amzn.to/1MwzPG6

Or you can kill some time on facebook with me http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp or twitter  http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

I hope you all had a great weekend and that your Monday is awesome.  See you Wednesday.

Best,

Jonathan

Hope everyone survived Halloween!

Hey All,

Thanks for stopping by.  If you’re reading this you’ve obviously avoided falling into a deep diabetic coma and survived Halloween.  Good for you.

I was supposed to go to a party on Halloween but woke up feeling incredibly run down and missed the fun.  I did catch up on Blacklist so I suppose that’s good.

The diet continues and I’ve lost about 7 pounds so feeling pretty good about that.

Lot’s of stuff going on this week and it’s one of those weeks where so much is going on that the midweek update is going to be somewhat big. So you’ll definitely want to come back Wednesday for that.

In the meantime let’s get on with the Monday stuff.

My current podcast about the Anthony Jeselnik comedy special is currently streaming on podbean and iTunes and you can catch that here http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

I’ve written a blog post that compliments the podcast over on reluctant joy which you might find interesting http://bit.ly/rljywp

Facebook shenanigans and twitter stupidity, oh we got ’em here http://bit.ly/fnbrjwp and here http://bit.ly/1YIWqZA

I did my first radio interview regarding The Geek on SouthWaves radio in the UK.  The Skype connection was a little buggy and I was kind of nervous but the host of the show David Snape was really nice and all in all I don’t think I came off like too big of an idiot, plus it was loads of fun.  You can listen to the bulk of the interview on soundcloud here http://bit.ly/1WseFyi

What’s The Geek?  Well that’s my hardboiled pulp thriller available on amazon for paperback as well as amazon, iTunes, gooreads and just about everywhere else for ebook, here’s the amazon link http://amzn.to/1JUFjtH

There’s a whole new episode of Stuff & Stuff Wednesday plus an announcement regarding a new publication, so come on back!

Thanks everybody and I do hope you all have a great Monday.

Best,

Jonathan

Midweek update

Well howdy everybody.

Fresh out of the oven is a brand new epsiode of the Stuff & Stuff podcast. This week I’m talking art and stuff with L.A. artist Pau!  We have a good time and cover a lot of different topics so check it out.  http://bit.ly/1KOLDsH

This week on Reluctant Joy I’m talking about tolerance, fighting the good fight, fat shaming and the insane world of the overly politically correct social justice warrior, available here http://www.reluctantjoy.com

Over on Tumble and Drift I am beginning to tell Micro-stories and the first one is up this week and available here http://www.bit.ly/tadsff

The fine folks over on TV Campfire had me on as a guest and if you’re in the mood for some passionate talk about TV you should check it out here http://bit.ly/1NiK4BL

Of course there’s always fun stuff going on at my facebook page and I highly encourage you to like and follow my stupidity there at http://www.bit.ly/fnbrjwp

And why not follow me on twitter at @Pron_coktail it’s non gmo and fat free!

Lastly but oh so not leastly my new pulp novel The Geek is out and available in paperback and ebook.

You can get the paperback here http://amzn.to/1JUFjtH

and the ebook here http://amzn.to/1UCe15M the ebook is also available on iTunes just type The Geek in the search engine and it should take you right to it.

Please follow me here and get on my mailing list for lots of fun upcoming shenanigans including contests and giveaways.

Take care all, have a great day, an awesome week and we’ll talk soon.

Sincerely,

Jonathan

Well it’s another glorious week of whoring myself out.

Hey everybody,

I hope everyone had a nice weekend and that you’re all girding yourselves for the grueling week ahead of you.

But hey, not to fear I’ve got lots of things to distract you and hopefully lessen your productivity so you can stick it to “The Man”, unless of course you are “The Man” in which case I have bad news for your productivity outlook.

Over on Reluctant Joy I’m waxing less than poetically about the average life of a writer in the 21st century.  You can find that here http://www.bit.ly/rljywp

Over on Tumble and Drift it’s part 2 of my short story D’jinn. It’s a sweet little story about the friendship between a human and genie and kind of caught me off guard because I don’t usually write sweet stories.  Snarky, violent and weird sure, but sweet came right out of nowhere.  Part 1 of course is available and you should read that first.  There’s also quite a number of other stories on there but check out D’jinn I think you’ll like it.  http://www.bit.ly/tadsff

This Wednesday episode 2 of my podcast Stuff & Stuff will be available.  If you haven’t listened to episode 1 yet go ahead and give it a go.  In episode 1 I’m talking with my buddy Rob Palmer about the state of the entertainment industry, independent film and a bunch of random stuff. This Wednesday I have a nice little chat with Video Game designer Tyler Uslan about indie gaming and of course stuff. It’s available on podbean and iTunes, so yay for me.  http://stuffnstuff.podbean.com/

And on facebook there’s absolutely nothing productive goin on, as usual but you should like and follow me because I have self esteem issues and I don’t think anyone wants to take responsibility for me going on another shame spiral where I eat six jumbo bags of powdered donettes.  So on your head be it.  http://www.bit.ly/fnbrjwp

And why not follow me on twitter I shall lead you to the promised land, probably not but hey you might as well, I always follow back unless your a bot or trying to sell me followers, if I wanted to buy followers I’d have way more than I do I’m at  @Pron_Coktail on twitter.

And after a fairly serious hiccup my novel The Geek is being fixed and will be back on and available at amazon in a couple weeks in paperback and of course ebook.

Anyhoo, you should follow this blog also and join my mailing list so you can be kept up to date on upcoming giveaways, contests and general information regarding various shenanigans.

I hope you all have a nice day and a great week.

Best,

Jonathan